I just get so tired of this sometimes.

quantity is job 1...

so many ways my life could have gone

so many turns that could have been wrong

yet is this exactly where god wants my life

will it always be filled with failing and strife?

i'm not like the prophets i can't hear his voice

it's not like i'm judas - not given a choice

deep in the heart they said i'd be free

deep in the heart i've found all but me

five hundred thirty days have passed all too fast

the sunshine is fading the daylight won't last

oh where is his calling where does his path go

if i do not act - no solutions i'll know

odaat...

often i think

dream if you will

and i smile

at least

that's true

on occasion you

don't have the time

and please know i'm fine

at least i have you

that's true

over these months

don't fret if you

aren't able

and don't feel 

that time's on your side

oh i think of you my

dearest of friends

and i realize

all i can do is

to live

one

day

at

a

time

i'm sorry...

words elude me

over and over

and over

yet thoughts

and feelings

still simmer

with tendency

to look back

and wonder why

we 

loved

life

together

and i 

cowardly

ashamedly

said goodbye

for fear 

of what

of pain

of rejection?

whatever the cause

now

it doesn't matter

time has passed

new loves found

(and for me lost again)

we walk on

to futures

of life and love

i was never

a good friend

to you

to anyone

selfish

gone

disappeared

but never forgotten

i am

sorry

words enough

cannot express

friendships should

be stronger than i

ever allowed them to be

and so i say

thank you

for showing me friendship

thank you

for loving me

the last time...

I promise this'll be the last time, for a very long time, that I officially switch blogs. I mean, I might write on here every now and then for the next two months, but past that I doubt at all.

So please visit http://jamesdavidpierce.blogspot.com/ and read your hearts away, comment away, and scrutinize and love.

Because I love you.

Godspeed.

winding down...

not too many more posts here. change of location means change of blog address. i'll pass it out soon, and make sure i don't have too many posts written on it before i do.

a beautiful day...

i went camping this last week. i should have pictures soon. my camera broke in costa rica so i used the camera my friend had with him. less than a week, i promise.

today is more time spent up in costa mesa. pool extravaganza with wix and sim.

i should clean my room this week...

dear readers...

apparently you actually are interested in any sort of goings-ons in my life. 

it's hard to write about it though - because when it comes to big life plans and decisions i'm more of a one-on-one type of guy. or really in terms of any conversations. but there are some of you that i won't see for a while, and so i suppose this merits the information to be shared here.

one of the whole reasons for having a blog right? makes sense, i guess.

this move's been a long time coming, and still the countdown is at 80 days today - but in 80 days i will be driving myself over to the small state of texas, in the city of san antonio. between now and then i have a lot going on, so that is why it is 80 days and not 10, but i figured i might as well let the cat out of the bag to surprise as few people as possible.

and i think the emotion of it all is slowly starting to set in. seeing my older sister cry when i told her last night wasn't helpful. the constant "why are you moving, again"s won't get old, but why do i second-guess myself whenever someone asks that question? i was reminded last week though, that if i go off of emotion and feelings then i'm going to stay - and not move in the direction i truly know i'm supposed to go in. people are going to be sad to see me go, and people are going to be happy to see me arrive - which isn't necessarily a catch 22, but the phrase sounds good enough to use.

i'm going to miss my family tons. yes.

i'm going to miss my friends lots. yes.

the beach. yes.

the weather. yes.

scooter. yes.

lots more. yes.

no, i don't know where i'm going to work yet.

i don't know who i'm going to live with.

i don't know a lot of things.

but i know i'm supposed to go. i know things will work out all in due time.

and i'm more than excited to see how everything happens and where my life is headed.

:)

did you hear the news today...

oh, you want news.

i guess i could give you a little.

i'm moving.

more to come later, i promise, i just don't feel like writing right now. it's late?

seasons change...

once again, it's been a while.

but that's okay. because i've been busy. busy figuring out life, busy flying north and south, east and west.

time goes so slowly these days. it's what i get for not being employed. 

today is tuesday. 

in 48 hours i'll have news.

these frail hands...

i need your love. 

and most of all i want to feel your peace. 

i need your love. 

let everything that you are not decrease.

be a man...

cry me to sleep. birds without beaks. quick clip my wings. falling from swings...

...follow carmen sandiego to the remotest parts of the earth young one, you have much to learn in this world of darkness and despair. the sky is falling but only just above you - sidestep left, backstep right. sing to your king for he is the only one who loves with purity.

happiness is...

joel said all i ever blog about are morbid depressing things.

well at least i blog!

some happy things happening soon:

• aj and rhi and coben and jonas are coming to town
• mikey mulligan is getting married (this means bachelor party to throw, rehearsal dinner to eat, tux to look hot in and songs to dance to)
  
• dinner with aj and rhi and coben and jonas and bri and james on monday
• softball game on monday after dinner
• a flight to texas on tuesday

there you have it. some unmorbidly delightful things.

ragamuffin poet queen...

where are you?

rest...

it's nice to lie down and do nothing. i don't relax enough. i don't take time to sit down and let my mind wander away from anything to worry about. that's one of the sad things i've noticed since being back for two weeks now. i can change that of course, i'm just thinking about how i didn't have to think about it three weeks ago. it just came naturally. and so what now? do i just sit and complain that i'm not getting enough rest or downtime? when in fact it's my own doing that has kept me so busy since i've been back home?...sigh.

sbux...

i've got nothing against starbucks. i worked there for a good three months and made my dent in the coffee industry. then i moved to costa rica and tasted some of the best coffee in the world, at a fraction of the price. i would drink coffee before breakfast, as a snack after lunch, and as a time filler in the afternoon. i knew it would only be a phase, but it was worth it while it lasted. now coffee seems more of a commodity, a luxury that not many of us can afford these days do to an all too struggling economy and a hike in the prices of lattes. i probably wouldn't be here if not for two reasons: the first being i'm meeting my friend wix here for good conversation for a bit, and the second that my dearest mum gave me a gift card to use. how simply wonderful.

vusc...

vanguard university. it is a quiet place today, with a few staff members running, or more specifically, strolling about finding people to talk to and any other excuse to refrain from turning in their small assignments to their prospective bosses. the grass has just been cut, with the telltale signs of a lawnmower being on its surface recently. this used to be a place where mud football was played after a rainy night, where giant ice cream sundaes were scarfed down in record time and glittering fairies went around kissing unsuspecting gnaves. amidst the hustle and bustle of all this, students would still find time to study in the wee hours of the morning, while their diligent roommates would be sleeping. times have changed though, people have left and the echoes of joyous laughter underneath the heath building whilst still under construction have long since faded away. it was a happy
place, but many moons ago.

almuerzo...

i have always loved the chipotle burrito. something about the deliciousness of it all, or even the way it is delicately wrapped in tin foil, makes it a lunch worth remembering. a small problem i had today was that i forgot what i usually ordered - a burrito bowl with white beans, chicken, corn, sour cream and cheese. oh and a bag of chips. so instead of ordering that i bought a chicken fajita burrito with said toppings. i'm actually still pleased, so all in all it's turning out to be a good day.

these sandals were made for walking...

I miss walking. So I've taken it upon myself to walk more than I usually would, instead of using my scooter or my car. I actually unintentionally lost quite a bit of weight over in Costa Rica and I attribute this to walking almost everywhere I went. Tonight, instead of scooting to grab some pizza for dinner, I'm walking. This way will take me 25 more minutes - but at least I'll get to take in the view more...

te amo...

yesterday you came running

full speed to the door

looking around with hope

"james? y james?

...dondé está james?"

no estoy allí yosimar

y lo siento mucho

mucho. mucho. mucho.