plastic smile...

i've been doing nothing but work lately
and that's not necessarily a bad thing
but at the same time it can wear on you
like a bad habit that you wish would just disappear
and at times i wish it would all go away
the work - the tiredness - the passing boredom every now and then

i'm spontaneous
and at the same time monotonously calculated
on mondays you'll find me doing nothing
tuesdays waking up early for an hour of fellowship with friends
wednesdays working for too many hours in a row
thursdays the same
fridays the same
saturdays the same
sundays going to church and starting over again

why do i want to buy a car?
i want to go somewhere and do something
why do i want to find another job?
to feel more useful with the time i "waste"
why do i want to move?
for a change of scenery whilst despising the idea of spending more money
why is my body sore all over?
because i'm lazy, slothy, and haven't run or stretched in almost over 2 years
why did i just answer the phone when it was someone i didn't want to talk to?
to have a human to talk to; rather than this unintelligent computer screen

i've been told to seek first the kingdom of God
and then everything else will fall into place
all in good time though right?

sometimes i think if i won the lottery things would go well
but i know they wouldn't
probably farther from well than i've ever been



i'm no better than you
i'm no worse than you
strip this plastic smile...
i'm still stuck in my skin just like you