Wednesday, November 23, 2005


It's funny how little things can start a boiling in the depths of your stomach. At times you would rather vomit it up but then again it can be nice to let it fester there a little bit. Something I read today annoyed me quite a bit, even stirred up a little anger in me. I know it's not bad to be angry, we all need a little bit now and then, but there is still the part of me that wishes I could lash out and yell at someone.

It's really not a big deal...this happenstance...but it still found a way to irk me. And I know blogs aren't really the place to vent or anything like that, considering how superficial they may be at times, but I needed somewhere at least to write down my thoughts...

Thank God for a new day tomorrow...or should I say today?

Thursday, November 10, 2005


This week has been Vanguard's homecoming; themed "The Great Adventure." It has been full of alumni-related chapels, meetings, events and parties; none of which I have attended. No, my time comes Saturday, which will be nonstop as soon as I open my eyes. I get to play in the Alumni vs. Faculty/Staff softball game in the morning, then I have a R.A. reunion to go to in the afternoon, a young alumni dinner in the late afternoon, and then watch the women's and men's basketball teams whoop up on their opponents.

It is weird for me, as an alumni, to go back to Vanguard. In a way I feel as if I am out of place, or even treading on people's toes ever so slightly at times. Yet there are the few there that I enjoy seeing time and time again, and for them, it is worth it. I suppose I might make a comment on the whole "homecoming" aspect of it all, but for that I can only quote from one of my favorite movies, Patch Adams, from the beginning scene:
  • All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers. All of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then. Picture yourself walking for days in a driving snow. You don't even know you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs and the drifts, your shouts disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can be. Home, the dictionary defines it as both a place of origin, and a goal or destination. And the storm? The storm was all in my mind. Or as the poet Dante put it: in the middle of the journey of my life I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path. Eventually I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place...

And for me, I suppose all of life truly is a coming home, no matter where I find myself. I graduated in May to find myself coming home to my family, and yet now I am going back again to my other family that I spent the last four years with. It is something to think about, to say the least.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

life... (part i)

In the midst of the everyday we find ourselves at times aimlessly wandering about, as if we were zombies living in an all too existent stupor. As if we couldn't grasp the thought of dying, we never truly comprehend the idea of living.

What is life? Is it to be only understand as the interval of time between birth and death? Or are we to understand it as something more? It is true, we can find an assortment of definitions that describe it as such, but what is it for you, and even so, what is it for me?

Surely we are not called to be zombific...

More later...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


frozen in time

smiling faces
never to be forgotten

blessings from above